The Province of Florida

By Mustang Bobby.

NPR's Greg Allen had a report on Friday's All Things Considered about how Canadians are snapping up Florida real estate in record numbers thanks to the housing crash here and the strong economy in Canada.

The cars in a parking lot at Walmart in Hallandale Beach, near Fort Lauderdale, tell the tale. About 1 of out every 10 vehicles is from Canada. It's February; the weather is warm in Florida, so many are visiting tourists. But other Canadians are putting down roots.

One recent transplant, Doug Flood says, "If there ever was an 11th [Canadian] province, it probably would be Florida."

That got me thinking; with the U.S. economy in trouble and people from other countries willing to invest here, maybe Mr. Flood is on to something.  In order to balance the books, maybe we could do what a lot of people do when they're in financial straits: sell off property.  So maybe we could put out feelers to Ottawa: how much would they pay to buy Florida?
 
It would take a couple of appraisals, but I'm willing to bet that it would go for at least $10 trillion.  That would put a big dent in the deficit, and it would save the U.S. a lot of money in the future by not having to defend the southern border against flotillas of boat people coming from Haiti and drug smugglers coming in from other places.  And since Canada has full diplomatic relations with Cuba, the exile community here could travel back and forth to see their friends and families any time they wish instead of having to jump through all the ridiculous hoops that the State Department and Treasury make them go through just to get their abuelita a cell phone.

Going Canadian has some other advantages.  Their economy is stable, thanks to strong banking regulations that would have prevented the housing crash.  Their Charter of Rights and Freedoms is just as strong as the Bill of Rights.  For the liberals, Canada is a paradise with marriage equality for all people, strong gun-control provisions, and a foreign policy that basically says, "Hey, we're a big country but we're not obnoxious about it."  And for conservatives, there's a long tradition of hunting and fishing for the rednecks, and for the country-clubbers there's that link to the British heritage that still makes a big deal about class differences.  Canada is a part of the Commonwealth, and Queen Elizabeth II is the Queen of Canada.  Most Republicans are secretly monarchists, anyway; they've always believed in the divine right of elderly white people with lots of property being in charge of the masses.  And when Fantasy Fest rolls around in Key West, we could invite the Queen to participate in the festivities; a Queen among queens, as it were.

Canadian politics are generally more liberal than they are here; the farthest right-winger up there would be a moderate Republican here, and they have such things as single-payer healthcare administered by the provinces (which amounts to Medicare for all, regardless of age), along with private doctors and insurance, too, so there's the best of both worlds.  They also have a parliamentary system.  It's a lot like our system, with a lower house elected by the people and a senate (although their senators are appointed by the government and basically do nothing), but in their case the leader of the political party with the most seats is the Prime Minister, and he or she can be voted out any time by a vote of No Confidence.  Imagine doing that to John Boehner.

Other good points: the Canadian national anthem is much more singable and the lyrics are pretty easy.  The flag is simple: red and white with the maple leaf in the middle.  (The Florida provincial flag could have a palm frond.)  Both English and French are the official languages, but I'm sure we could work Spanish in there somehow.  They have different holidays than we do, but they're close to ours; Canada Day -- their Fourth of July -- is July 1, and instead of Memorial Day in May, they have Victoria Day around the same time.  They have Labour Day when we do, and their Thanksgiving is in October instead of November.  Retailers would love that; it adds six weeks to the Christmas shopping season.  Their money is the same as ours with dollars and cents, and their bank notes are very colourful.  The only thing we'd have to get used to is calling the dollar coin a "loonie," named for the bird on the back of the coin.  (The two-dollar coin is called, naturally, the "toonie.")  They have a form of football like we do; in fact, a lot of Americans have played in the Canadian Football League.  The rules are a little different -- three downs instead of four and 110 yards instead of 100 -- but it's football, not soccer, so the Dolphins, Buccaneers, and Jaguars could easily adapt, and they might even win a few games.  For those of us who love the arts, Canadians have always been strong supporters of theatre, art, and music.  Oh, and they do know how to make really good beer and whiskey.  As for technology, Waterloo, Ontario, is the home of the company that came up with the BlackBerry.  (But we won't hold that against them, I suppose.)

There are some downsides:  Canada uses the metric system, so there would be a lot of confusion for those who still don't know a meter (or a metre) from their foot.  Taxes are higher, depending on the province.  But I'm sure we could work things out; most of our cars already have metric speedometers (look at the little numbers inside the gauge) and buying gas by the litre wouldn't change how big your gas tank is.  You could also go 100 on the Palmetto Expressway in Miami...assuming you know that it's only 62 mph, and assuming the traffic isn't bumper-to-bumper.

But the really big question is whether or not Canada would take us.  Sure, they're buying up all the land and vacant homes and shopping at Wal-Mart and we provide a winter refuge for most of the provinces of Ontario and Quebec; in Hollywood, Florida, you see as many signs that say Ici on parle français as you do Se habla español.  But would they want to buy this distressed property?  It's a nice place to visit, but it's a real fixer-upper if you're going to buy.

Cross-posted from Bark Bark Woof Woof.

Right-wing Republican judge rules health-care law unconstitutional

By Michael J.W. Stickings

So what else is new?

Republican-appointed judges, embracing conservative judicial activism (even if they would deny it), are ruling against the Affordable Care Act and basing their decisions on spurious legal reasoning:

A second federal judge ruled on Monday that it was unconstitutional for Congress to enact a health care law that required Americans to obtain commercial insurance, evening the score at 2 to 2 in the lower courts as conflicting opinions begin their path to the Supreme Court.

But unlike a Virginia judge in December, Judge Roger Vinson of Federal District Court in Pensacola, Fla., concluded that the insurance requirement was so "inextricably bound" to other provisions of the Affordable Care Act that its unconstitutionality required the invalidation of the entire law.

"The act, like a defectively designed watch, needs to be redesigned and reconstructed by the watchmaker," Judge Vinson wrote.

How odd that Vinson's words are a metaphorical version of the standard Republican talking point -- repeal and reform, even if Republicans have no alternative plan and no intention of introducing one anytime soon. (It's important to note, too, that Vinson based his decision to a great extent on the views of the right-wing, theocratic Family Research Council, hardly an impartial source.)

Ultimately, the law will be reviewed by the Supreme Court, so it doesn't much matter how these lower courts rule. Although, of course, the Supreme Court, with a 5-4 conservative majority, is partisan and, when it wants to be, activist. (Kennedy will likely be the swing vote, as usual.)

But Steve Benen makes some excellent points in putting this latest ruling into perspective:

First Update: Note that when Judge Henry Hudson of Virginia, a Bush appointee, reached a similar conclusion in December, in a ruling that no one seemed to think made any sense, he said the individual mandate is unconstitutional, but left the rest of the law intact. Reagan appointee Vinson, however, took a far more activist approach, striking down a massive piece of legislation because of one provision.

Republicans are thrilled, of course, because activist court rulings are to be celebrated, just so long as it's activism the right can agree with. 

Second Update: It's also worth emphasizing that two Republican-appointed federal district court judges have now found that the individual mandate -- an idea Republicans came up with -- is unconstitutional. And while that's important, let's not forget two other federal district court judges, appointed by Democratic presidents, came to the opposite conclusion.

Indeed, overall, about a dozen federal courts have dismissed challenges to the health care law.

In other words, when you hear on the news that "courts" have a problem with the Affordable Care Act, remember that it's actually a minority of the judges who've heard cases related to the law.

Aside from the obvious activism on display here, that last point is crucial. Only two judges, both Republican-appointed, have ruled against the mandate (the second also against the entire piece of legislation). The media focus disproportionately on these negative rulings, rulings that would seem to validate the Republican position, but the reality is that the law, including the mandate, has thus far been upheld everywhere else.

There's hardly any guarantee that the Supreme Court will uphold the law, but claims of the Affordable Care Act's demise are greatly exaggerated.

Season's greetings

By Capt. Fogg

If you thought there was a silly season in Florida, you're right. If you think the season is shorter than 52 weeks, then I would disagree, although a case can be made that as long as the legislature is in session, idiocy is in season.

But there are high points, special events worthy of special status, although which ones to celebrate differ from political faith to faith. I don't know how Florida's "smaller government" believers took the statement by one state representative against a bit of legislation forbidding anyone to participate in or watch for purposes of pleasure any sexual act including animals with the exception of the requirements of animal husbandry, but she seemed to understand that as allowing female humans to marry animals and she certainly opposed that, thank you very much.

It's hard to stand out as an idiot in a Florida crowd, but perhaps the following resolution, which was introduced last Christmas Eve by Sen. Gary Siplin, an Orlando Democrat, that would designate "Merry Christmas" as the official state greeting for December 25 will come close: 

WHEREAS, Christmas, a holiday of great significance to most Americans and many other cultures and nationalities, is celebrated annually by Christians throughout the United States and the world, and

WHEREAS, on December 25 of each calendar year, American Christians observe Christmas, the holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, and

WHEREAS, popular modern customs of the holiday include gift-giving, music, the exchange of greeting cards, a special meal, church celebrations, and the display of Christmas trees, lights, and nativity scenes, and

WHEREAS, many Christians and non-Christians throughout the United States and the rest of the world celebrate Christmas as a time to cherish and serve others, NOW, THEREFORE,

Be It Resolved by the Senate of the State of Florida:

That “Merry Christmas” is recognized as the State of Florida’s official greeting for December 25. 

Can anyone make up stuff like this? I can't, and I wouldn't dare clog up the wheels of progress, if I'm still allowed to advocate it, with such Christmas fruitcake legislation while Florida is at the top of the unemployment and foreclosure heap. And yes, Siplin is a Democrat, and no, there's no false equivalence here. I report, you decide, and let the batshit fall where it may.

If it passes or does not, it's a gift to cynics that keeps on giving and it seems that every time the legislature meets it is indeed Christmas. Just don't ever call it a holiday.

(Cross-posted from Human Voices.)